We've all been guilty of comparing ourselves to the "perfect" Instagram models or the "perfect" big boob'd, big booty, flat stomach reality stars. I'm definitely guilty. My teenage years consisted of browsing through magazines and watching TV shows while simply thinking "Wow, she is so perfect, I want to look like that" or "I'm so ugly and fat, I will never look like that". I'd continuously bring myself down to pieces because I didn't have the pretty long hair, the light skin tone, the skinny nose, the model height, and the list goes on.
When Social Media really hit its peak, it was downhill from there for me. You see, Social Media has its pros and cons. PRO's: You can use it to network, build your name/brand, inspire, motivate, and/or simply be entertained. CONS: You continuously compare yourself to socialites, attempt to live up to these unrealistic expectations because you want to look/act "cool", you bring yourself down because despite what you do, you personally feel like you'll never be enough, and you allow others to bring you down.
I'll be honest, during my early 20's, I did a lot of dumb stuff to live up to these unrealistic expectations. I'd starve myself to lose weight, apply tons of makeup to hide all of my insecurities, buy expensive clothes, shoes and bags I could barely afford simply to look like someone who didn't even know me, spend money on lavish outings, and hang out with people I didn't even like just to be in the "it crowd". Of course, I had to post everything and make sure it got an adequate amount of likes. Some may see and hear this as something little but looking back now, it was definitely affecting my mental health. I put an end to it because I knew I didn't want to continue living this life where I shot down my self-worth and self-esteem because it didn't add up to the lifestyle of those I was idolizing online.
Age 24: Jenna shuts down all Social Media apps
It was hard at first but when I started realizing how great I was feeling without Social Media, I refused to go back into that world. I knew I wasn't ready. I was able to go out and truly enjoy my time because I was able to see things as they happened and not through the camera lens, I listened more because my eyes were glued to the person or people speaking and not on my phone, I focused on what I liked and not the number of likes I received on a post, and so on. I went four years without any social media and not only did I work on myself, I was able to better myself to be the realest Counselor for my kiddos.
I like to practice what I preach. I can't sit in front of a student and tell him/her to not have such negative thoughts especially when I've experienced it and have been in their shoes. I had to get better in order to teach others. I'm very open with my students and when the situation applies, I enjoy giving personal insight on certain experiences I relate to and the kids appreciate that. As a Counselor, I think the one of the most important tools to use is understanding and honesty. Kids knows when you're feeding them BS. "You have to keep it age appropriate but keep it real with them".
Fast forward to my 4th month as a 30 year old, I can honestly say that I'm appreciative of the lessons I've learned overtime and grateful that I'm no longer in that place. Having the insight to teach the little ones who come to speak to me today about Self-Worth, Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence and Self-Care is a blessing. It's an extra tool I can use with them to guide them through their teenage journey because we all know it's not an easy one.
I do have social media again; a personal account and my Counselor account. I find myself deactivating my personal account every now and because it's time consuming and I get super distracted but it's no longer something that knocks me down.
Social Media may have had the power to bring me down but it also gave me the strength to build an entirely new and confident me.
I win!
-SchoolCounselorJenna